A Masters Education

I now have a whopping 5 years of undergraduate and 2 years of graduate education under my belt. And still there are times when I say something that even I must think to myself “Did this person really graduate Kindergarten, let alone Grad school?!”. I’m going to share something fairly embarrassing…4 years ago when Ben and I first adopted Henry I was rubbing on him one day and noticed a very odd, very dark colored, raised bump on his belly. It didn’t seem painful so I just kept an eye on it. Over the course of the next week or so the bump didn’t seem to change at all but I went ahead and mentioned it to the vet at Henry’s appointment. He seemed intrigued - I’m sure it’s not every day you get something out of the ordinary or even all that exciting in a vet clinic. So, I mention this bump and the vet, in his very friendly way, says “well let’s take a peek”. We roll Henry onto his back (a task which was much easier to do 10 puppy pounds ago) and I point out the bump. The vet rubs on it, looks at me… and in his head I could see him thinking “This woman is a UT graduate. In the medical field. How do I say this…” and then out he blurts - “Melanie, it’s a nipple”. Who the hell knew?!?! A nipple! On a dog! A male dog!! Fast forward 4 and a half years.

Last week I noticed a spot on Elise’s head. At first I thought it was a scab, but it didn’t seem to have an edge, and there was no redness. And no history of her smackin her head. What could it be?!? Much like Henry, I decide to keep an eye on it and over the course of the last 10 days or so I haven’t noticed much change in it at all. Odd. Now, as a little aside… there is a somewhat well known phenomenon in medicine. Most residents, nursing students, graduate nursing students… you get the picture… go through a phase of swearing that you or your family member or your mother’s boss’s wife’s dog  must have X Y or Z lethal disorder that is so rare that surely no one will ever be able to correctly diagnose it. And here we are, 2 weeks away from me finishing my Masters I have somehow convinced myself that this spot on Elise’s head can only be some horrible form of skin cancer. Ignoring the fact that she has zero risk factors for skin cancer. Ignoring the fact that she’s 15 months old. And like I did with Henry I decide I’ll mention it to her doctor. We were at the doctor this morning for Elise’s 15 month well child appointment - the doctor walks in (not our usual one - she’s out on maternity leave) sees Elise playing with my stethoscope and nonchalantly asks “Oh, are you a nurse?” My first thought (in my head) was “Why I gotta be a nurse?! Why didn’t you think I was  a doctor?!”… I let it slide though, and answer (fudging just a little) “No, I’m a Nurse Practitioner” (so now he knows that I should have a fairly solid basic knowledge base of the human body). So I mention the bump. I explain that I first noticed it almost 2 weeks ago and that at first I thought it might be a scab but… and as I am telling him all this he is holding Elise’s little head still, she is pissed and screaming, and then I see it… it IS a scab. And it is just sitting in her hair. So, I pull it out, hide my face, and scurry out of the office.

As I mention, I have 2 weeks left until I graduate with my Masters. Here’s hoping they’ve got a lot to teach me between now and then! It amazes me most days that Elise has made it this far…