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Today marks the day when Isaac became my errand boy. I was cuddled up here on the couch enjoying my blanket and laptop while he built another car train. My nose began to dribble a little, as it has been prone to do over the last couple of days. I thought to myself, “He has wee little hands that know how to carry things, he knows what toilet paper is, and he knows where it is. Hmmm.” We sat for awhile when suddenly another thought hit me. It STANKS of poop in here. Someone pooped their pants and I might be comfortable in my non-snuggie blanket, but I’m not that comfortable. And then I immediately realized I could ask Isaac to go get me toilet paper to blow my nose with. I asked him and he enthusiastically agreed and ran off to the bathroom. He came back with a tiny shred of toilet paper and gave it to me with such contentment in his eyes. Then I asked him to bring me more toilet paper, “the whole roll” I said as I gestured the approximate size of a toilet paper roll. He was again overly excited about his quest and ran off to get the toilet paper for me. He came back with another tiny, microscopic scrape of toilet paper. Then I said, “I need to blow my nose, so I need mo…” and he immediately got it. I saw the light bulb brighten over his head as he acknowledged “Oh!” and ran off to get it. Then he did indeed bring the entire roll and said “blow your nose?” Amazing. A month ago our conversations were one way and boring. Now we talk. Now I enjoy approximately 93% of our conversations. Hurray for tiny little humans. Hurray for this one, especially. (Minus the poop.)

At least in my house they are. Shortly after moving into our ‘permanent’ home, I started using Amazon Fresh grocery delivery. I knew it was the best thing to happen since, well, ever, but I needed some groceries today and I thought we’d make a day trip out of it. I also needed to search for a waterproof jacket for Isaac. (Who could’ve guessed he’d need one of those??) We hit up a few thrift stores and the Goodwill in search of a jacket, but didn’t find one. Isaac did fine in those stores. I’d even say he was angelic. I let him play with the toys for awhile and when it was time to go, he put them down and we left and that was that. I thought “Man shopping trips are easy now!”
Then we went to the grocery store. We use the “car carts” that have a little car attached to the front. I know they are embarrassing, but for a long time, they worked great in keeping him distracted. Not today, my friends. He was entertained from the parking lot to about 3 feet inside the doors. Then he was ready to climb out, which he’s not allowed to do. He either sits in the cart or in the car cart. He immediately began to throw a fit, which included his recently acquired ear piercing squelch, followed by screaming NOoooooooooo, Darth Vader style.

I eventually got him to calm down by offering to let him watch a cartoon on my iPhone, which worked out well for about two minutes. He started up another fit and then slapped me, which in the last couple of weeks has been a HUUUUGE no-no. He hasn’t done it in several days, so I think my immediate scolding voice “DO NOT HIT ME” and holding onto his arm was enough to make him rethink his approach. I think he was coming up with his plan for the next 10 minutes, but I was okay with that because I finished most of my shopping and was about to head to the cash register. Then he lost it again. I don’t even know what it was about now, but he screamed at he top of his lungs and said “DON’T HIT ME!!” I have to clarify that I do not spank him. I do not hit him. The only way he knows this phrase is from me saying it to him in an attempt to break his angry/fit habit of slapping at me.

It was mortifying and if I hadn’t completed my shopping already, I would’ve walked right out of the place. It’s just to difficult for me to shop and I didn’t want to wait for a delivery, so we battled our way through checkout, literally, and we bailed. I tried not to make eye contact because it was one of those moments where I might’ve gone ape shit if an adult had given me one of those ‘control your kid’ looks. But right when I was wheeling my basket out, I glanced back at the lady behind me and she gave me a very nice, sympathetic smile. I felt a little better.

Then I went back to Goodwill and left Isaac in the donation box. The moral of this story is, if you’re two and you throw a fit and embarrass your mom in the grocery store, you will be donated to society.

Actually, while we were driving home, I got a really great view of the Olympic Mountains and the Puget Sound and it drastically changed my mood. Also on the trip home, I glanced back at the boy and gave him a big *SIGH*, which made him let out this all-knowing giggle. Which made me giggle. Which made him giggle and snort. Which made me laugh. And then we laughed and laughed and I was glad I didn’t actually donate him.

All of this to say, I really love Amazon Fresh.

When we got to Seattle, Isaac’s babysitter Amy introduced me to an easy way to refer to the things related to peeing. His boy bit is the pee pee and it makes pee pee water, which you put in the potty. I’ve been talking to him about it pretty regularly and let him stand on the toilet to try to put his pee pee water in the potty several times. Of course nothing ever really happened, I was just trying to get him used to the idea.

Last night, we were getting ready for bath and he was running around in the bathroom in the buff. He got REALLY excited and was running in circles yelling “pee pee water”, so I thought he’d peed on the floor, but there was nothing there. I said “Do you have pee pee water?” He said “YAH!!!” So I took him over to the toilet. I just let him stand there because sometimes when I stand him up, he wants to stand in the water.* He looked down at his boy bits for a few seconds and then started peeing!! I got really excited and picked him up so he could pee in the toilet and then screamed and clapped and celebrated. Katie came in to see what the fuss was about and I told her he peed in the potty. We got really excited and gave many high fives and clapped and told him what a good job he did. He was definitely proud of himself. I guess we’ve now gone from the invisible potty training game to the real potty training game! Yay! I see an end to diapers (though I know it might be many months.)

*As a side note, I didn’t put much thought into holding him in a standing position on the toilet. I honestly didn’t think he would really pick up on the whole concept and that was just the easiest way for him to get a good position while allowing me to keep him from playing in the water. I was thinking I wanted him to just learn how to do it on a regular sized potty, but I’m starting to question that. It seems like it would be easier if he had something at his own reach. Stools (step, not poo) still leave him pretty short.